The ability to grieve loss is perhaps one of the most significant developmental achievements of being human. Loss is an inevitable part of life, with us from the very beginning. As we age, we mourn the loss of our former selves as we are no longer the person we once were and may no longer be able to do that which we once took for granted. Perhaps we feel most intensely the loss of those we love to illness or death. Learning to live in the absence of their presence, or conversely, the presence of their absence, can sometimes feel like having to completely reorient oneself to life without them. This reorientation is experienced initially, and perhaps for some time, as a disorienting shock to the system as this may also mean that we need to redefine ourselves as being a person in the world without our beloved.

There is no road map to grieving such losses. Grief knows no time table. There is no right way or wrong way to grieve. Every one of us must find our own way through. While the lack of a road map or someone who can tell you how to "do" it may seem daunting, it also provides the freedom for each of us to discover a way through that is of our own making. However, no one is an island unto oneself. It is therefore important to have people in our lives who can support us as we discover our own path through grief's terrain.

There are times when our grief can feel so pervasive as to overwhelms us. I have worked with many such persons. Providing the space for one to move as one needs, to claim the right to respond to everyday occurrences as one sees fit, to have the freedom to breakdown and cry if that is what spontaneously occurs in any given moment, helps honor and respect one's experience. Working with people in the throes of grief has shown me that there truly is no one way to grieve and that each person's process is as unique as each individual. At the same time, it is important that those going through this process feel cared for, loved, and cherished.